You sat cross-legged on your bed. A razor blade, a full bottle of sleeping pills, and a elegant written note in front of you.
That's how you felt. The weight on your shoulders was crushing you, bringing you down into an early grave. The storm cloud that always hovered over you was now striking you with lighting bolts of sadness.
You may be dating a hunter, but you were positive, nothing could hunt down your pain.
Tears streamed down your face. You had used Sam's computer to look up painless ways to kill yourself. But every answer told you not to, only one said it was extremely painful.
It didn't matter.
You deserved the pain. If you had to endure it for so long, what was the difference if you suffered a bit more?
You picked up the blade, placing it into your palm. You curled your hand into a fist, feeling the sharp metal slide against your skin, the warm fluid running down your arm.
You cried and threw the blade across the room.
Grabbing the note, you held it to your chest, your blood staining the page.
Sam's iPod was on repeat, of one song that made you cry. It was so beautiful. It's what you wanted the boys to hear when they found your body.
You hummed along and unscrewed the cap off the sleeping pills.
'Goodbye Dean.' You thought and tipped your head back.
You had nothing to live for.
The bottle was suddenly knocked from your hand, you were pulled into a strong chest and your boyfriend's head was buried in the crook of your neck.
You were frozen, too shocked to move.
You had thought Dean was on a hunt. You clearly underestimated his speed.
You could feel Dean's hot tears on your neck, his grip un-breakable.
Un-breakable, how you wish you were.
"Dea-" you began.
"Shut up!" He interrupted.
Your eyes widened.
"Just shut up! What would have happened if I didn't get here in time, Huh? Would I be holding your dead body? Would I read some dumb ass note about how you're sorry? Would Sammy have to come pry my sorry ass away from your bloody self? WOULD YOU REALLY BE SO STUPID TO LEAVE ME BEHIND?!" Dean shouted, his voice cracked.
He pulled away and pointed an accusing finger at you.
"Did you think you had nothing to live for? That no one cared, no one understood? Like no one was hurting the same way? You selfish brat! How do you think I would feel if you were dead? I would kill myself! Then how would Sammy feel? Bobby? Cas? This wouldn't just affect you (Name)! Godamnit, I love you, so fucking much. So don't you ever, ever do something so stupid again." Dean shouted, his cheeks wet.
He grabbed your shoulders and hugged you again. You cried, hiccuping sobs into his short, griping tight at the fabric.
"I'm sorry." You whispered.
"You damn well better be. You scared me shitless (Name)."
"I won't ever, do it again. I promise."
He picked you up bridal style and maneuvered you so he could slide under the covers with you. His soothing drawing on your back made you tired.
"Love of mine, someday you will die, and I'll be right behind. I'll follow you into the dark." He sang softly and curled protectively around you.